Inspiration

Every artist needs inspiration as does every author. I would know. I am a photographer and a painter. I have always been artistic in my own way. Ever since I was little I knew what I wanted to do when I got older. When I was little I thought It was all about pretty pictures, paintbrushes, and amazing stories. I never thought about the emotional hardships that one would go through in attempting to be creative.

We tend to forget about the things an author goes through that brings out the best in him. The emotional turmoil it must take to write a book. The toll it takes on his family to sit at a desk every day of his life. I am pretty sure we know that authors do not sit at a desk 24/7, 7 days a week. I am pretty sure they would go absolutely nuts. Most authors are pretty crazy though if you really think about it. There is a toll taken on a writers life when he chooses to become an author. The effort it takes to produce book after book after book. You would think they would run out of ideas eventually. Just as artists have their inspiration so do authors. A time in their life that is sad may produce a novel that brings tears to your eyes and makes you think about your life. Or a life changing event may lead an author to write a novel that will change your life. So many things can determine the outcome of a novel.

Just as a painter paints a scene, an author paints with words. An author must depict emotion through words. He can make you feel sad, or make you feel happy. It is all set in the tone the book is meant to be set in. What the author is feeling while writing this chapter determines where the story leads. Its like a roller coaster. Up and down and down and up! Most authors plan the end of the book first, then let their minds take them through a maze trying to get to the end.

As an artist I can understand about the emotions needed to create something amazing. Its hard to not let your emotions control where your work is going. When I do photo sessions with a family, its hard to work with someone who is sad and down and un inspiring for me to shoot. Authors do the same. We all as artists need some form of inspiration so we can create.

Success

I never enjoyed school. NEVER. Not in elementary school, not in m middle school, and defiantly not in high school. I hated getting up early, getting on the bus, sitting in class hour after hour after hour. It felt like pure torture. Eight hours a day, every single day except Saturday and Sunday. I always hated homework too. In all honesty, I never studied in school, and I rarely did my homework. I always knew I was smart but I just never applied myself. I cant really give you a reason why I didn’t apply myself. Maybe it was because I was bored with what we were learning or that I was distracted. I don’t even have a clear answer for myself.

All I knew is that my parents wanted me to do well in school, and they pushed me and they pushed me hard. They would yell at me, take my phone away, cuss at me, they tried everything to get me to be the perfect “straight A student” that they wanted. It had always bugged me that they wanted me to do what they wanted, and not let me do my own thing. My parents both have very well paying jobs and both have very high educations from top of the rank schools. My dad a graduate of Mercer with a degree in Environmental Engineering and my stepmother a medical school graduate(I don’t know which school). My parents, both extremely successful in school, wanted me to be successful also, like any other parent. They wanted me to attend a top of the line school and have a high end job like them.

Well like any child if you push them too far they will rebel. Me being me and the personality that I have obviously rebelled against them. Not ever doing my homework, not making straight A's or bringing home A's on my report card. Not to say I was a bad student(B's and C's) but in the back of my head I knew it was what my parents wanted and not me. And that bugged the living shit out of me.. It bothered me that my parents didn’t see what I did well, and what I couldn’t do well. They pushed me and pushed me until I was finally fed up. I did nothing. No homework, no studying. I took notes in class and took tests. But I never attempted to push my self farther than that, because I knew they wanted me to make the grades for them, not myself.

It was second semester senior year my parents finally gave up pushing me to do my work. They said if I wanted it, I would have to do it on my own(this wasn’t the first time nor the last he would tell me this). Every class second semester I made an A in, besides math. I finally was doing it for myself.

I thought the pushing from my parents was gone, until first semester at JSU came around. They started back up with “this is what we want for you.” And it killed me. I made some pretty stupid decisions last semester that left me unsure if I was coming back for a second semester. These decisions got me kicked out of the house, and left the relationship with my parents non-existent. My father told me he was tired of trying to instill what he wanted in me, and that he would no longer support me. It was an hour later I decided for myself that I would come back to JSU for a second shot.

So, here I am. Sitting at my desk, in my dorm, doing my homework, on my own time. With no one pushing me, or bugging me to get it done. Only me, myself, and I. I am doing this for myself. I have responsibility. There is a reason I enjoy this course so much, and a reason why I believe I will be taking more online classes and hybrid classes in the future. I have to make myself do it. In an online class you don’t have anyone there over your shoulder trying to make sure you get your work done. And I like that. I think I found the right type of class for me. To make myself successful.  

Essay Erosion

My My teacher for my western civ class only gives out three tests a semester, so you have to do good on all of these tests to be able to pass the class. He also does powerpoint slides, with very little information. You have to listen to him and write down the key points, and decide what you think is important. If you miss something, your screwed. Well, over the past 6 weeks I had taken 23 pages of notes in his class. A week and a half ago my computer decided to crash, which means I lost everything. My music, my pictures, my files, my english documents, and of course my 23 pages of notes.

Now, my main concern isn't that the notes are gone, or that I am not going to remember the material. The test is tomorrow, Wednesday. My main concern is that 80% of his test is essay questions. I thought this would be a good topic to write about for my blog because what history class makes you write essays for your test? He wants 3 complete essays, 4 paragraphs each, and he also has short answer questions(a paragraph each, which isn't too bad).

So as I sit here and freak out about my essays and my paragraphs, I recall everything we have talked about in the past few weeks in english. How everything about writing essays is bull shit. But I have to wonder, Does my history teacher think that everything about writing essays is bull? Or  how I choose to write going to be a problem, or will it fit up to his standards? Aren't we supposed to take what we learn from our english classes and apply it to every aspect of our writing? But that poses my question, What if my history professor doesn't like how I go about my writing?

What if I fail because of how I choose to write, or how I choose to organize my information.


What if..