Success

I never enjoyed school. NEVER. Not in elementary school, not in m middle school, and defiantly not in high school. I hated getting up early, getting on the bus, sitting in class hour after hour after hour. It felt like pure torture. Eight hours a day, every single day except Saturday and Sunday. I always hated homework too. In all honesty, I never studied in school, and I rarely did my homework. I always knew I was smart but I just never applied myself. I cant really give you a reason why I didn’t apply myself. Maybe it was because I was bored with what we were learning or that I was distracted. I don’t even have a clear answer for myself.

All I knew is that my parents wanted me to do well in school, and they pushed me and they pushed me hard. They would yell at me, take my phone away, cuss at me, they tried everything to get me to be the perfect “straight A student” that they wanted. It had always bugged me that they wanted me to do what they wanted, and not let me do my own thing. My parents both have very well paying jobs and both have very high educations from top of the rank schools. My dad a graduate of Mercer with a degree in Environmental Engineering and my stepmother a medical school graduate(I don’t know which school). My parents, both extremely successful in school, wanted me to be successful also, like any other parent. They wanted me to attend a top of the line school and have a high end job like them.

Well like any child if you push them too far they will rebel. Me being me and the personality that I have obviously rebelled against them. Not ever doing my homework, not making straight A's or bringing home A's on my report card. Not to say I was a bad student(B's and C's) but in the back of my head I knew it was what my parents wanted and not me. And that bugged the living shit out of me.. It bothered me that my parents didn’t see what I did well, and what I couldn’t do well. They pushed me and pushed me until I was finally fed up. I did nothing. No homework, no studying. I took notes in class and took tests. But I never attempted to push my self farther than that, because I knew they wanted me to make the grades for them, not myself.

It was second semester senior year my parents finally gave up pushing me to do my work. They said if I wanted it, I would have to do it on my own(this wasn’t the first time nor the last he would tell me this). Every class second semester I made an A in, besides math. I finally was doing it for myself.

I thought the pushing from my parents was gone, until first semester at JSU came around. They started back up with “this is what we want for you.” And it killed me. I made some pretty stupid decisions last semester that left me unsure if I was coming back for a second semester. These decisions got me kicked out of the house, and left the relationship with my parents non-existent. My father told me he was tired of trying to instill what he wanted in me, and that he would no longer support me. It was an hour later I decided for myself that I would come back to JSU for a second shot.

So, here I am. Sitting at my desk, in my dorm, doing my homework, on my own time. With no one pushing me, or bugging me to get it done. Only me, myself, and I. I am doing this for myself. I have responsibility. There is a reason I enjoy this course so much, and a reason why I believe I will be taking more online classes and hybrid classes in the future. I have to make myself do it. In an online class you don’t have anyone there over your shoulder trying to make sure you get your work done. And I like that. I think I found the right type of class for me. To make myself successful.